


Stuffed

by Tuiteyfruity



Series: Nagastuck [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, and again nothing sexual, dirk is human, i looked up stuff about snakes to reason that out, jake is a naga, nagastuck, this fic is general audiences for a reason, this is just a silly fic where i use all the world building i put into naga biology, this story contains themes/mentions of vore but does not actually have any vore in it so dont worry, which involves jake acting drunk without alcohol being involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-02 00:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12715563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tuiteyfruity/pseuds/Tuiteyfruity
Summary: Dirk goes to visit Jake (a naga who lives in the forest), and finds him in a strange state, but Jake seems unconcerned.Lots of snuggling and cute interactions.





	Stuffed

It had been a week since Dirk had last visited Jake, and thought Dirk always worried when he left Jake alone for that long even though he shouldn’t. Jake had survived on his own for most of his life, he wasn’t reliant on Dirk bringing him pizza.

Shit.

That’s what he had forgotten. Now he was visiting the insatiable Jake English without the appropriate offering of Americanized Italian cuisine. Unfortunately his shift was over and he only got the employee discount while on the clock. A bullshit rule. He was snake food for sure, not that that wasn’t the case every time. Still, when he didn’t bring any pizza, Jake tended to hold it against him and keep him longer.

But a naga could go more than a week without food. Right?

Setting his bike against the usual tree, Dirk walked deeper into the forest, listening for signs of the impending ambush. The air was crisp with the approaching winter, and it made him more alert. He was ready for Jake’s attack. 

No ambush came.

Where the heck was Jake? By now they should either be watching television or he should be eaten. This was very worrying.

What if Jake had been captured by, Dirk didn’t know what, animal control? Police? Jake wasn’t officially a criminal or wanted for anything, but he was a bit of a local cryptid. If the authorities ever took the occasional giant naga sighting seriously enough to investigate…

He had to find Jake.

The problem was that even with Jake being so large, the forest was larger, and green as fuck. Ever patch of ivy, shiny with the recent rain, could be Jake's scales, any called tree or log could be his chest or arms. There was a reason he was so well hidden here, and it wasn’t because he was good at hiding.

This was futile. He couldn’t just wander aimlessly hoping to end up where Jake was, he had to be more thoughtful about this.

He was in the middle of a very large forest, but it was surrounded by civilization, and even had some civilization hidden within. It was a long shot but…

Dirk took out his phone and set up his mobile hot-spot. Jake’s device wasn’t a phone, plus Dirk would have to pay for the phone plan since Jake has no income. However Jake’s device was set up to connect to the internet when provided by Dirk’s cell service. In addition, once connected, the location of Jake’s device, and likely Jake himself, would be available.

That of course was assuming it was turned on. And charged. Jake often forgot to charge his iPad with the solar battery, and even if he did, he would often forget to leave his solar cell battery out in the sun.

And of course it had to be within range. The probability that Dirk was currently within about 20 meters of-

Oh! Lady Luck seemed to be on his side.

Good, Dirk was also completely lost. Sure he had cell service but even if he could get back to a road, he would end up far from his bike, that was a lot of walking he would rather not have to do. Jake knew the forest like the back of his hand and could get Dirk back to where he left his bike no problem. He had left if where Jake was usually waiting for him in the first place.

The place where Jake had not been this time. That alone wasn’t cause for concern, their meetings were infrequent and planned only half the time. The other half involved Dirk walking around for a few minutes until Jake either heard or smelled him. That also hadn’t happened this time. That was a small cause for concern.

But now he had Jake’s location, or at least, the location of Jake’s iPad. It was a mere 20 meters away. Through thick foliage… and up a steep hillside. A straight line thus wasn’t. 20 meters this wasn’t. Jake had better be there.

Of course he wasn’t. Seems Jake had left the stuff to charge in a small clearing. Damn It. Dirk stood panting, his arms and hands were scraped up and full of splinters, he had cobwebs and twigs in his hair. No serious injuries, but all of his skin stung like a mother fucker with the tiny cuts.

Was this even worth it at this point? He was putting in a lot of effort to find a naga that was just going to eat him. And talk to him, and joke with him, and get infinite joy from merely being with him. Of course it was worth it. Plus, Dirk wasn’t relishing the idea of maneuvering back down the hill. One wrong step would mean taking a terrible tumble, and he was already exhausted.

Jake wouldn’t just leave his stuff anywhere, he knew that if he lost or broke the iPad or the battery, they wouldn’t be replaced. So he had to be close by. Dirk took the devices and put them in his backpack.

He couldn’t go backwards, so he had to go forward. And upwards again, this time over large rocks rather than trees and bushes and ferns and bramble. He scrambled to top of one pile of rocks and Dirk saw ahead of him a larger outcrop of boulder, illuminated by the sun which shone clearly down here unhindered by trees.

And there he was.

Like a paper chain made entirely of green paper, Jake was draped around the large rocky outcrop. Sunlight glistened off his scales like they were emeralds. The only difference between the rock and Jake was the rock was gray with green moss, while Jake was brown with green scales. This was deep enough in the woods that no one would find him anyways. It was way off the beaten path.

Dirk didn’t get many opportunities to just observe Jake, at least not from afar since he was normally being smothered by him and if not, had been eaten. It always struck him just how massive he was. Monsterous some would call it. And after having attended several PTA meetings attended and voluntarily catered by Jane Crocker, it was clear Jake was abnormally large even for a naga. Either that or Jane was abnormally small, but she was the larger than any of the other PTA members, except for perhaps William Romnalski, who was a former pro footballer, and at 50 years old still looked to be in his prime. Jane was probably average sized.

Dirk walked around to find Jake’s face, his nose was was about shoulder level to Dirk. This confirmed his friend was asleep. His head lay in his folded arms and His ears were flattened to block out noise, so he wasn’t in an alert sleep, this was complete relaxation. He had not heard Dirk.

He looked so peaceful. So adorable. And so handsome. Ruggedly so. Probably partly do do a desperately Needed haircut. His thick black locks, though it was almost a mane, were matted beyond help. Only recently had they been restrained by large hair ties. That had taken some doing, mostly by Dirk since Jake didn’t know how. Since use of a comb was unavoidable it lot of crying and complaining on Jake’s part, but he had been immensely pleased with the result. His hair no longer obscured his vision.

Dirk carefully set down his belongings and then inched closer to Jake’s face. So close that he could feel Jake’s slow and steady breath. It took a full half minute for him to draw a breath and then another 15-20 seconds to release it. The result gave the impression that he wasn’t breathing, unless like Dirk you were paying attention.

So engrossed was Dirk that he was caught completely off guard when Jake’s tongue flicked out and hit Dirk with so much force that Dirk fell on his butt.

“Fucking Shit!”

“H-hHAAAIIIIYYEE Dirk,” Jake didn’t even open his eyes, but instead yawned and stretched out his arms. Before returning to the exact same position as before. Except he now he was smiling.

“How long have you been awake?” said Dirk, standing up and dusting himself off. Which did little to improve his appearance; the trek here had done most of the damage.

“Don’t... know. As long as you have been here I guess... was asleep until then” his voice came as a lazy drole.

“Did I wake you?”

“Yeah, but itsss fine. Been asleep aaaallll day. Yesterday too!”

“And last night?”

“Slept, but not here,”

“Oh, where?” Asked Dirk. This conversation wasn’t riveting but Jake was clearly in a mood of some sort, so Dirk kept him talking.

Now Jake opened his eyes, lazily, as if he wasn’t completely present. Slowly he lifted himself up and moved a foot to his right, reaching over to a bush that grew up against the rock. Dirk walked over to it. It proved to not be growing at all, and had simply been placed over the entrance to a large hole.

“In there,” Jake said, putting the bush back and once again returning to his original position Dirk first found him in, but keeping his eyes open. Not focused, but open.

“How is that any different?” Dirk asked, walking in front of Jake’s face again as Jake blinked slowly.

Jake’s attitude seemed familiar somehow. It was weird.

“It, you know, gets cold when the sun goes down, under uh, warmer” then Jake hiccuped.

That. No. It was impossible. How would he even.

“Jake are you alright?” Dirk finally asked.

“Heeee yes, very… all right. Super right.”

Oh yeah, he sounded drunk. But that made no sense.

“I didn’t bring any pizza this time, I forgot,” said Dirk.

Dirk would have expected Jake to be annoyed at this, hurt maybe? Or make a clever comment how “He, Dirk, would have to do.”

What Jake said was “You look funny,” and did not suppress his giggles. He even reached out to ruffle Dirk’s hair, shaking a good amount of debris out of it. Then he placed his hand on Dirk’s back and dragged him over to smush Dirk up against his face.

At first Dirk thought Jake was trying to kiss him but it soon became clear he was cuddling him and smelling him.

“Smell nice tho” said Jake, laughing even though it wasn’t funny.

“Uh, are you going to eat me now or what?” Dirk would like to have a moment to mentally prepare. He made an attempt to push Jake’s face away but Jake was too strong. It was pleasantly warm just a bit awkward.

Jake took another deep breath that sucked at Dirk’s hair and clothing. Then he flicked out his tongue again, as if to tease Dirk by tasting him.

“Naw, I’m good,” And he released Dirk who stumble back in shock. Jake gazed at him with slight amusement.

“You’re WHAT?!”

This was unprecedented. Jake was always jumping at the bits to eat him, always without fail. But Jake had just refused to eat him, as if this was perfectly normal. This was not normal.

There was so way Jake could be drunk, but he was abnormally lethargic. Maybe he was ill? Jake said he was alright but that meant jackshit.

Enough was enough! Now for the direct approach. Dirk put his face right up to Jake’s who looked surprised but still amused. Dirk was not amused.

“Jake what the hell is going on! You’re acting very strange, I would think you’re drunk but you have no way of getting alcohol, unless you ate a drunk person, you didn’t did you!?” He hoped to god that Jake hadn’t eaten some lost drunkard and had lied about sleeping for the last few days.

Then Jake screwed up his face, thinking hard.

“Person? No. Just a couple of deer,” then Jake’s eyes widened, Dirk feared the worse.

“OHHHHHHHhhhh. Dirk. DIRK!” professed Jake with perfect blend of pride and excitement hindered by extreme lethargy, “I’m a fucking… this is just like, HOW IT IS when I. I ate the deer, I carried them all the way here, to the nice sleeping rocks! I ate them and I’m very tired now.” he concluded, lamely closing his eyes and sinking into his folded arms.

Dirk grasped onto Jake’s arms, leaning forward like they were railings, trying to parse what Jake had just attempted to say. He was busy thanking god that Jake hadn’t eaten any humans.

“Let me see if I understand. You caught some deer. And now you’re all loopy and tired because you’re so full of deer.”

“YeeeEEESSSsss” Jake was so happy that Dirk figured it out. He was so happy Dirk was here.

“And you waited to eat them until you brought them here because you like this place, it’s up a steep hill so no one will stumble across you, it’s exposed to the sun during the day and has a cave for you to sleep in at night?”

Jake only nodded.

“I have one last question. If you’re up for answering it,” said Dirk, stroking Jake’s hair.

Jake perked up his ears to let Dirk know that he was.

“How did you know I was here. I didn’t make any noise, did you smell me?”

Jake grinned. “You’re trying to learn my secrets!”

“So it’s weird naga shit you that have no idea how to explain”

“Not a fucking clue*,” Jake admitted.

Now that things were cleared up, Dirk went back to his backpack and got out a travel pack of Wet-wipes. He was done being covered in grime and dirt. He used up 7 wipes, but there was nothing he could do for his hair without soap and water.

“You still here?” said Jake after a while. Dirk had been trying not to disturb him, thinking he had gone back to sleep. Guess he hadn’t.

“I found your iPad over there, it’s charged now, if you want to watch something,” said Dirk

“Sure!” Jake lifted his head, more alert than he had been this past quarter hour.

“Any preferences?”

“Nope!” In truth he was having trouble recalling the names of any shows or movies.

Fine, Dirk would choose. Nothing to challenging, he wasn’t sure Jake could follow a complex story in this state.

Eventually it got late, and Jake was seriously dozing off.

“I should get going, Jake,” said Dirk.

“Oh! Yeah, it’s night. I can’t stay out,” he nearly fell off the rock, in slow motion and disappeared into the cave under the rocks, “sealing” the entrance with the bush.

“Goodnight!” said Dirk, Jake didn’t answer. /Not even a goodbye!/ thought Dirk. 

He walked to the hill’s edge and realized he would not make it down alive in the dark, not without help from someone who could navigate the dark and stay steady.

He went over to the cave entrance and shoved the bush away.

“Hey Jake, I need help getting down from here,” called Dirk into the darkness.

There was some shuffling and two glinting emerald eyes appeared in the dark.

“Ahhhh. sorry. I can’t do that”

“Why not?!” Dirk was stunned, Jake wasn’t usually this much of an ass.

“Can’t move, I would throw up, maybe tomorrow” he said.

It wasn’t up for debate, and Dirk wasn’t going to argue. Even if Jake had contradicted himself since he had just moved, or rather slowly maneuvered into the cave. He probably meant he can’t move much more than that.

/right/

“Alright then. Guess I’m stuck here tonight. Move over ya big lump it’s fucking freezing,” said Dirk.

A few more minutes of shuffling later Dirk was nestled in Jake’s coils, with Jake’s very warm and very soft chest next to him. Jake was right, as cold as it was outside, underground it was extremely cozy.

He shot off a quick text to Dave says he wouldn’t be back till tomorrow. And fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> [Thanks for reading! Please leave kudos and comments!]
> 
>  
> 
> *Jake, and all nagas, like snakes, have sensory organs on their faces that are thermal sensors. Jake sensed a temperature change from around 70F to 98F that occurred in front of him that could only mean some sort of large living thing. It was dramatic enough to wake him up, it set off “possible threat” instincts, but Nagas are so large it doesn’t set off a “flight or fight” response, it merely alerts them. But he doesn’t know the thermal thing! He knows a change in his surroundings happened but he doesn’t have the words for it.
> 
> Also: snakes get very lethargic after they’ve caught and ate something. Nagas are no exception, provided they have eaten the equivalent of what a snake their size would, and is uncooked meat. Socialized nagas eat the same food as the culture around them, which is more carbs and cooked meat, and much smaller portions, meaning they don’t get tired and loopy for days after eating a meal.


End file.
